I wonder, does the rest of the world share my craving for genuine human connection? Are we all wandering around looking for meaningful human interaction but somehow lacking the communication interfaces to get it? Do we somehow all end up a little too afraid of rejection to be initially open? Do we somehow close ourselves to the potential?
Is the attraction of meeting new people and new partners the unwrapping of their layers of defence? Do we thrive on undressing their defences and revealing their soft, sensetive inner core? Is the defence undressing as strong an attraction as our desire to physically undress? Is it all somehow the same thing? Are we all seeking to be loved?
Or is it just me? Does the depth of our scarring early on control the level of our desire to be loved?
I crashed my car today. It wasn’t serious, I was turning right (we drive on the left in Scotland!) and another car was pulling out past me, the two cars collided. The woman driving jumped out of her car, marched to my car door, opened it and said something like “Are you blind?”. It was somehow so hostile, I clearly hadn’t intended to crash my car today. She calmed down after a few minutes, we exchanged details and went on our way. She was obviously shaken by the whole thing, and perhaps he felt attacked, so she felt the need to defend herself.
Is it somehow a perpetual circle? What goes around comes around? The more we feel aggressive, the more aggression we create? Does love really conquer war? Does Buddha have it right? Is it all about Karma? Does aggressive music and aggressive driving somehow perpetuate it all? Are we all responsible? Should we all take responsibility?
Is that why we take drugs? In the search for a purer state? For a deeper connection? For a more immediate feeling of love? Do we somehow feel that drugs can take us closer to it? Do they, or do they actually do the opposite by somehow falsifying us? do they show us an artificially heightened state? Does it somehow raise our expectations of reality?
Or is it all just bullshit?
Sent from my Treo